030215
Tomorrow marks the 365th day of my residency in SAF having being coerced under the national law to enlist on 4th February last year. I shall take this time to reflect on this arduous yet meaningful journey even as I embrace its second year ahead.
I had no idea what to expect from NS when I booked in for the first time to a remote island that fateful Tuesday morning. Little did I see my hair shaved and discarded mercilessly before me then I realised a new journey has begun. I vividly recalled that I wasn't happy nor sad that day maybe because I found it pointless to waste my time doing nothing productive at home and it's good to explore something new.
Reading through my blog posts written during the days of BMT and SCS Foundation Term earlier on reminds me of how much I have grown as well as how some values and character still configure me today. Those few months were indeed an excellent platform for me to identify my strengths and weaknesses as a soldier and a person. It creates indispensable bond between some people and me from the experience we've been through. Quoting myself from that period of tribulations, I don't deny the fact that in army I can get to meet all kinds of people and that includes me meeting my true self. I often found myself caught up in the relational aspects of life, admitting to the fact that my personality tends to clash with many and thus, learned to actualise the principle of "birds of different feathers can flock together" through various ways. Frankly speaking, I am still learning hard to deal amicably and maturely with this setback.
That season of hardship also turned out to be a rewarding me one as my fitness improved significantly. From someone who can't even do a single diamond push up in BMT, I surprised myself by doing five hundreds normal push ups with my current platoon one night. My fitness had been compromised greatly since secondary school as I joined band as a rather sedentary CCA. Remembering the first few weeks of BMT where frequent physical training sessions really took a heavy toll on me, it's also a blow to my confidence and hope to thrive in army. I am glad to have carried that tinge of optimism and spirit of excellence to improve my fitness that period, treating every session as a means to do so. Keeping fit should be a consistent effort and I hope this belief will enable me to have some initiative for some individual work out especially in this monotonous period which consists of mainly administrative work.
Also, my blog posts fondly yet shamelessly mock me for desperately yearning to sign on with the SPF that time. This irreversible mistake caused not just considerably tremendous financial cost but also emotional turmoils in me. It drastically altered the conventional route I was supposed to embark in army, landing me in an unfamiliar place of varying culture. In between BMT and Foundation Term, I had the opportunity to stay out for two months doing clerical work. Nonetheless, I believe that everything happens for a greater Purpose. That seemingly foolish move may have caused me a circuitous detour in life bombarded with several opportunity costs, in retrospect, it's actually a blessing in disguise in most aspects. I wouldn't have known the people who really matter to me before then if not for their omnipresent encouragement and advice after that incident. I wouldn't have gotten a prestigious university placing if not for the bountiful amount of time bestowed to me in that lull period before Foundation Term started for me to attend all the interviews. I wouldn't have been in this current exclusive vocation as a Sniper if not for that crises. There are many things that I can be thankful about.
Above all, I still stand true to my conviction that NS is a splendid platform for me to encounter the greatness and love of God. As mentioned before, it's indeed real that NS either draws me nearer to Him or drifts me away further from Him. I have undergone many instances where He came true for me in both big and small ways. He delivered me in all circumstances and I can be safe and secure in His arms. Thank You Jesus for Your blessing and guidance although many a times i accused You of leaving me abandoned based on how I feel. Faith is a not feeling but a lifestyle expressed through the actions and speech I abide to.
All in all, while army hasn't been a smooth-sailing voyage for me, in hindsight it's a really meaningful one to discover and strengthen self-identity while maturing and learning to deal better with the challenges life engenders. The upcoming final te. months are undoubtedly more challenging as before with more responsibilities and exercises drawing in. I wish for myself to use this remaining time for meaningful work to gain something that will impact me positively not only transiently but permanently. Happy 1st Anniversary!
2109
No comments:
Post a Comment