Post-graduation

The days after GP were somewhat mundane and unproductive especially when I stayed at home succumbing to my laziness and procrastination.

I met up with Nats on Wednesday, the day after my GP, at Plaza Sing where we had a meal at Nana's Green Tea lol. The dessert was not bad and the curry udon was surprisingly great too with the cheese. In the evening, when we departed from there, I gallivanted in region and eventually decided to visit the LAN there for awhile. What a sad way to countdown for Christmas right? Hahah

On Christmas Day, I attended the Christmas service in the morning and had my favorite TPY banmian for lunch. I can't believe I actually played in the LAN again and only reached home at night. I ask myself why Christmas this year was somewhat lonely and poignant and came to a conclusion that army has somewhat ruined the mood by making me miss all the church events and not much plans were made prior to the day too. As someone who comes from a traditional Buddhist family, Christmas wasn't a festive season to be celebrated at home too. While others exchanged presents at home or even with friends, there was not much significance in Christmas for me for my childhood. Not until when I started to attend church and cell group more regularly, where the atmosphere of the festival was then meaningfully heightened. 

Blame it on my laziness and craving for rest that I wasted my Friday morning on the 26th sleeping away. Felt kinda remorseful for not helping my grandma in her preparation of cooking her signature prawn mee days before when I finally had it for lunch on Friday. In the evening, I met up with the 36th NCO-ers at Somerset to have our EOY gathering. We visited this Korean BBQ place known as Togi at Triple 1. I don't usually have meals at Korean restaurant so I was somewhat native to the dishes and dining etiquette there. I'm grateful for the group for making the session a memorable and pleasant. Just as we wanted to head to Marina Square to enjoy the overrated Llao llao with a shorter queue, Mama actually felt unwell and we sent her off in a cab lol. The rest of us then bought ourselves KOI and some matcha before chilling in the mall's basement for the night. Great night and catch-up indeed.

Saturday was even worse as I overslept till mid-noon. I then visited the 430PM service with Sekkun as I couldn't make it for the 630PM one due to our band gathering in the evening. That was the final time as claimed that our service was going to be held at Storhub. There's a hype going on where people started to snap shots and post captions of memories that have originated from there. I didn't join in the bandwagon although I felt a sense of sentimentality having attending service there since Sec3/4? That also rid me of one reason for having my favorite TPY banmian there again.

The trip to Shane's house for our semi-demi-band gathering was smooth at the start and horrendous in the end where we took bus of the wrong color plate to eventually end up in a long loop before we alighted. We were late but not the latest. The food prepared was sensational although I couldn't finish the laksa which was too spicy for me lol. Missed the laughter and fun we had although not everyone was there. Great to see Sir once again after last seeing him in May or June? We ended the night sitting in circles as we played games to finish  the leftover drinks and food. Thanks Carrie for sending me (almost) home thereafter. I really hope that one day the entire band or at least most of us can gather to perform once again.

Sunday was basically a waste of time and energy as I woke up half-dead in the early morning to book in for my extra duty. Grateful for my dad as I didn't expect him to buy noodles for me in such unearthly hours lol. For the entire 24 hours spent in camp, I lazed within the four walls and I wondered if I did the "right" thing by realising and reporting that the keys were not tallied by the records after been ordered to do a check. Brought some magazines I ordered there but I didn't even touch it at all.. I have decided that I indeed wasted a hundred bucks in ordering the Business magazine I didn't bother to entertain hais. I also didn't have a good rest at all because some people just randomly booked in in the middle of the night sporadically. Couldn't really sleep well after been awaken near office hour.

Monday morning started with an impromptu meeting by the CO with the entire commanding teams there. My platoon was asked to come back and I don't know if I should feel lucky that I need not book-in again like the rest since I was already there lol. The talk revolving around the same old key points lasted for a lengthy 3 hours and I was holding up my bladder for the last one hour desperately while maintaining attention amid my sleepiness. We were glad to be given half day off thereafter lol. Had a nice lunch at KFC with JT & MQ thereafter. They're probably the reasons why my days were/are made more bearable.

It's about 2PM when I arrived home and I set off to meet MBC and LL after changing lol. Eventually I didn't manage to visit M's house and headed to Pentagon for some dimsum at Ding Tai Fung instead. We then traipsed in the shopping estate and they bought some stuff while I resisted purchase since my budget was overly tight this month (after paying SPF the lump amount). I don't know why but M decided and insisted that we walked to Peninsula thereafter. It's a draggy 20-30 minutes walk under the drizzle lol. Wanted to get myself a new guitar bag to replace the current damaged one but budget.. hais. Actually I also bought quite a lot of clothes few weeks back already. We then travelled to NEX to see M off. LL and I then walked around the huge ass mall before deciding to have a meal at Monster Curry since the portion seemed so tempting and appetizing. Overall, it' s a better than expected and awesome day.

Today, I woke up at noon and used my comp throughout playing and blogging. I seriously need to pack my room more neatly soon but the activation energy is so high.. In the evening later I'll be meeting some of the ramp-up course peeps for an EOY cum post-GP meet up at an unknown restaurant to me in Bugis. Shall try to update soon. By the way, the weather was so shiok nowadays. I really hope it can stay like this in Singapore foreverrrrr

Something prompted me recently to consider if I was really suited to be the band president. I believe I was chosen for a purpose and my apparent attributes you saw may or may not be best for my band. I don't think we can compare between schools or bands since the culture and expectations in each environment vary greatly. While I do not have the musical expertise or flair, I have a keen passion in leading my band to greater heights - which I can confidently affirm that we have been to a uniquely formidable level even none of us has expected to reach. Speaking about this really brings back the joy and pain of leading and serving there. This paragraph was so spontaneous hahah but I believe that while everybody is given different talents, personality and societal status from birth, what matters most is a genuine heart to serve and a selfless intention to contribute for the greater good of all. 

Graduation Parade

After days of procrastination, I guess it's time to share about my graduation parade and the months of arduous training preceding it. I remember vividly that I wasn't feeling totally prepared to embrace the donning of the black stripes after wearing the white ones for half the year. It's due to many reasons that I have shared before.

On the day itself, we had a final morning rehearsal before lunch. We were then told to pack and move everything to a bunk assigned for us by mid-noon. Is it really so hard to give us some rest or break before the grand moment? I didn't actually feel excited about it and just hoped to end the day asap. Had tea break in the canteen with MBC before changing to my smartest 4 and heading to collect my rifles to report in my contingent. It's about 5pm when everyone congregated at the form up point and the sky was so ominous. I guess most of us prayed that the rain would not come as its advent would certainly make our days of efforts to go down the drain. Thankfully, the parade was able to carry out as normal. Overall, the drills was fine except for the part where my row didn't stomp together due to difference in counting. Is it really so hard to count and follow the tempo of the band? Lol I tried not to let this setback affect the joyous (really?) occasion.

It's great and relieving to see my parents coming down to fix on the 3 chevrons for me after all the tedious parts. It's also nice to have people visiting me specially too. Took a few photographs before the next segment of the parade commenced. We did a second march-past and gathered behind the parade square for our re-entry, which was meant to be a surprise for the audience. After doing the thunderous and fearsome roar and pledge, my platoon gathered behind the entire cohort and recited our motto together. I then went to look for the other people who came down for me. Fungling and I had a failed polaroid shot once again. Xinhui made me run around like monkey to look for her out of nowhere. She also introduced me her friend Engine to me and I don't know whether that's nice or awkward LOL. The saddest moment of the occasion was probably my absence in the platoon when they entertained or greeted the MP in the hall. I was there before but left at the wrong time. I also entered at the wrong time when the session was over. This caused me to meet my camp commander face to face and he even queried about the "unusual" tabs on my iLBV which I put on specially the photo shots with a special few. That somewhat triggered some guilt and distress in me as an impression was etched in the commanders as well. LOL...I'm not sure if I was thinking too much as usual but whenever I think of the same situation, I will apportion some blame and shame on me remorsefully.

Not everyone I took is here though due to space constraint opps

Not everyone I took is here though due to space constraint opps

I left the camp around 9PM and took the $1 bus ride to boon lay MRT. On its way, it almost collided with one Chinese cyclist who was riding aimlessly on the road. Thank God the bus jerked on time and nothing really anti-climatic happened.

In short, I guess I was engulfed in mixed feelings throughout the entire CAT Term, which I surprisingly enjoyed a lot because of the people and experience there. I was elated that I have finally earned myself the rank after been through much turmoils over the past few months. Yet, at the same time, I was uncertain because there's still a long way to go as the training is going to get tougher for my vocation and I also doubted my own ability to be a decent commander given past experiences. That's the reason why I don't feel really joyful and I even hesitated posting the moments I graduated online. Thanks XH for her advice which eventually encouraged me to anticipate the future instead of dwelling on the past.

I started my Foundation Term on 21st July 2014. My Professional Term commenced on 17th August.  I'm actually amazed that I still remember the dates. Yet I started my army journey earlier than most peers in my current cohort due to the inadvertent incident in April. Having been through these 10 months of life deprived of real freedom and rest, all I can say is that I have come a long way despite the many setbacks in between and I wouldn't be able to reach here without the support and encouragement of God and some people.

Individually, I hope others can see the positive change in me although I still can't figure out if I have improved as a person. I'm so bad in doing self-reflection and observation is certainly not my flair. I still can't confirm that while the process is hard the outcome is worthwhile as the process is still ongoing and the outcome is still not materialised. Socially, I have made both great friendship and enmity and thankfully the former is greater than the latter. Physically, I certainly became stronger and fitter than before and there is still much room for improvement. Mentally, I have also grown to believe that it's possible to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges as long as I have trust in myself and faith in God. There were so many obstacles that I thought I couldn't achieve yet I have conquered it after all. Spiritually, I am sure that I have been closer to God than any other time before NS as He is always the available one to me anytime and anywhere. Whenever I am faced with setbacks, be it small or big, I would think of Him first. There are many testimonies that I can confess due to His unwavering love for me. Without Him, I guess I would never be able to achieve so much this year. Emotionally, I think I am still susceptible to the behavior and words of others despite some improvement. Honestly, I wondered if I have depression at times but I guess my mental grit has surpassed all demoralisng thoughts in me. This is one area in life that I really need to overcome.

All in all, army, as despicable and sadist as it is at times, has been a great platform for me to evaluate life and myself. Quoting my camp commander and the MP for the parade, the graduation doesn't signify the end of the journey; it's actually the beginning of the greater adventure to come. As reluctant and doubtful to say this, I will try my best to improve more for the last year of NS in 2015 even as things and expectations inevitably get harder too.

P.S. I feel that I have much more to share but I just can't write what I feel for whatsoever reasons lol. Probably it's because I am typing this using my computer instead of using my phone the usual way.

Ruined

How can such misfortunate occur a night before the grand day? All I can say is life has been unfair and my entire life is more or less wrecked or broken into pieces that are almost impossible to salvage. The important ones may not turn up tomorrow. 

Stigma

#day6;211214

Currently booking in now after booking out late in the afternoon...didn't really get a good rest at home. Today was kinda a fast day. Woke up late. Prepared for the parade which lasted the entire morning. The drills was better this time but I kinda screwed up certain parts. Self righteous. Didn't feel good to be back too. 

Lack of instruction afterwards. Starved. Booked out around 230. Instead of cluster one going back first as planned, two actually went first. Hope rehearsal will be short and sweet tomorrow.

2140

Yay or Nay day

Bad day waking up with real sleepiness.

Good day getting my certificates and bayonet.

Bad day quarrelling with my buddy over stupid stuff once again.

Bad day rehearsing for parade because it's so tedious and my drills ain't that good. Got irritated by some people. Really sleepy too. 

Great day having McDonald's for dinner although it came late.

Great day chatting for two hours unknowingly with my bunk mate.

Long day tomorrow rehearsing again. May the mercy and commanders show mercy.

Orally Oreally?

#day4; 191214

Finally felt really sleepy when I woke up this morning. Didn't sleep early last night. Three sets of 5BX was useless and it didn't wake me up well. The queue for breakfast was super long and when I got to the serving point, the noodle was already unavailable and I was left with bread and jam to decide. Felt kinda irritated for some reasons too lol.

I was lying on my bed for a good 20 minutes before preparing to change for my dental appointment. I was feeling so reluctant to move and hoped to glue to my bed. Leaving the camp made me quite sian also cos' I'll be missing the sharing done by the various vocations in my syndicate, something that I find interesting to listen to.

I reached the dental clinic by 9 and then waited for a good 40 minutes before my turn was called. I had my oral cleaning today and there was no good but only bad news. The dentist claimed that my oral hygiene was really bad and there were several decayed teeth. The one that chipped off in front was caused by the build up of plaque over time. I guess my teeth brushing technique is just not correct although I brush my teeth twice a day. He applied concentrated fluorine on some of my teeth before I left and I was told not to touch the teeth or drink for the following 30 minutes. Lol don't know what to feel but I guess I just realised it's too late to revert the condition. There's no point wailing over it but to improve on my oral hygiene.

I then bought some boxes of floss sticks for the first time in my life. I never thought I would use it. Actually years ago in secondary school I thought my teeth were the most taken care of one and my skin and face complexion was better than most of my peers. It seems like I am plagued by plaque now. Skin is not good too. 

I visited JP for my lunch at Malaysia BOLEH where I had its claypot rice. It was really good especially when I can add as much garlic as I loved to. I then bought Share Teas for my friends in camp. It's about 1215 when I returned.

When I was removing my socks on bed, I realised a puddle of flesh blood near my boots and little did I know the blister on my right ankle has burst and the blood flow was crazy. Thank God Auyong was there to stop the bleeding with bandages provided by my bunk mate ShengWu lol. Had been koping his first aid kits recently. AY left early for his lesson then and Stanley stayed over where we had a short chit chat until Jianting arrived to collect his drinks. Talked for awhile too before changing and reporting for lessons.

The 3 hours spent was somewhat boring, especially when the individual sharing was invidiously long. Had my sharing too and watched the course video for the first time. It's pretty nice and the photos certainly brought back some memories, the good and bad ones. Presented better than I thought although it can be improved lol.

At 4pm, we reported to the hall for some practice on our creeds. Thank God my formation was not called lol. I think the encik forgot. For the next two hours we rehearsed our re entry. It's really sian that my platoon was not attended to properly as in there was no instruction for us to stand with who. We were like lost sheep then. Eventually we joined the infantry. My encik should be there but he wasn't. If not things could be better. The funny thing about the rehearsal is the fact that the commander praised us when I felt we performed badly and vice versa. 

Rested in bunk after the quick dinner. The CNB talk in the evening which lasted for almost two hours was so boring. The best part was probably the sharing done by an ex-drug addict who shared how he managed to overcome his decades of drug addiction by knowing Christ behind bars. He mentioned how God has changed him for the better several times and I thought that's a really good testimony boldly shared in front of a crowd of thousand. Several "amen" resounded ensuing the testimony by some people and I felt quite encouraged by it. There's a churchy atmosphere hahah. The worst part was the experience sharing done by the officer because I really couldn't understand his accent well. lol half of the time I was figuring out what was he saying but to no avail.

I then spent the night polishing my boots. It's getting more shiny but not good enough... I also started to brush my teeth for the longest time ever in my lifetime. It's actually fun but time consuming. I'm wondering if I will become complacent when I am lazy next time.

To end off, today also marks the official 365 days of countdown to my ORD day. The three digits make it sound so infinite. It's not going to be easy down the road. The only way to go is forward.

1140

Trust Rusts?

CAT TERM

#day3; 181214; Trust Rusts

Today was even more relaxed than yesterday. Didn't enjoy the run and exercise in the morning though. Time flew when lessons started. Somewhat had fun. Visited the canteen also. Then I stayed in bunk throughout until evening. Did nothing really productive besides polishing my boots. It's more shiny now but still not good enough lol. 

Felt a little sian the Infanteers came back late from their burdensome rehearsal which sadly took up the entire of their afternoon and evening lol. Feel bad for them. That also caused my plan to surprise Jasper to be delayed and almost cancelled as the meeting time was close to lights off timing. Eventually my foundation term section still managed to gather as one and went to Delta SURREPTITIOUSLY to surprise him. We then ambushed him as we reached his bunk. He was surprised successfully and was certain that it's planned by me hahah. Glad it's a success although many things hindered it. Thanks Kenneth for buying the cake from outside and passing it to me before he booked out lol.

On a more sentimental note, I'm not sure if I have been too open or have I trusted people too easily.. Felt weird after some convo. Too early.

Meow Term II

Today was slack but happening at the same time. Just didn't like the idea of running 3KM then do three sets of 5BX in the morning. The run had so many pauses and that made me quite tired. This is going to be the morning routine for the next few days though.

Caught an hour of sleep after that run when it's supposed to be area cleaning. Lol who actually does it? Anyway, the area is already cleaned before on day 1. I had lectures all the way till dinner then. During lunch, I visited the canteen. Crowded. I then made a trip to the AO branch to catch up with my ex-colleagues. They congratulated me for passing out soon and even teased me jokingly for my vocation. Missed those carefree 8-5 days man. The shock of the day is probably to know my foundation term grading by chance there lol. It's decent as I can tell. Better than expected? Before lesson commenced at 130, I met Kenneth, my old buddy from the carefree days, for lunch. Short but nice catch up.

The afternoon lesson bored the hell out of me but the chit chatting session was somehow good with my group. Had some laughter. Genuine ones. Then there's nothing much for the day. Just lazed on my bed using my phone throughout. It's so draining today. As in my data as I scrolled through random pages and watched fantastic pokemon ORAS battles although I don't play the game lol.

Tomorrow is yet another tedious day. Hope it'll be fine.

Note to self: need sleep earlier

Inadequacies

(continued from privated Part 1)...am I really ready for the three chevrons?

Since I'm already wallowing in my deficiencies, I might as well pour out whatever provoking doubts I have with myself that are triggered during NS.

1. Do I really deserve that 90 RP, or even that somewhat prestigious NUS scholarship?

There are moments when I carelessly committed mistakes where others deemed to be stupid or irrational. For example, by accidentally holding and thus blocking the rifle by the entry of the barrel when someone was checking clear for me. More ridiculous enough, even me claiming that I couldn't read things upside down casually was backlashed with others questioning my worthiness of the scholarship. This particular person crazily doubted my ability to clinch the award.

Having been through many decision making tasks, I also realised how not far-sighted I am. I am not someone who is able to make the best decisions for all. I always have dilemmas as I weigh between the pros and cons for a prolonged period. I even called myself stupid at times when I was unable to do even the simplest tasks that others find no problem doing. Scoring the best in knowledge wasn't a blessing but a curse for me as it only gave more rooms for others to criticise and suspect. When the suspicion happened, my esteem got dampened and a vicious cycle of self-inflicting thoughts ensued once again. That being said, I am totally not practical. Even for theoretical tests, I need to study and internalise with a longer than average time. Even in JC when I did better than expected for tests and exams, I was surprised and could only credit all to God's grace. I, when left  alone, was imbecile and unintelligent.

2. My English standard sucks.

I always get this remark or "constructive" feedback a lot just because I don't portray an image that is reflective or indicative of a good eloquent speaker to others. I do admit that I have problem conveying or expressing my thoughts when it comes to work most of the time. I think A to Z but I only managed to verbalise A to H and even missing out some letters in between. I just couldn't articulate myself well no matter how hard I try. My phonetics is terrible. I can't pronounce most words well. Even when I attempt to, I got mocked at.

This platoon has a penchant for teasing others, including commanders, for their mispronunciation and the same joke can sustain for days or even weeks. Until now, they sometimes still intentionally pronounced field pack as field bag with a redundant emphasis on the word bag as I first thought and mentioned it as field bag instead of pack. I remember the very instance when a bunch of them continually teased me with the phrases to really annoy me as a get back for something really trivial that I have done. I wouldn't love to use this word but I guess I have been bullied and it's always top down. 

Sometimes I wonder if my upbringing is a cause of my inability to vocalise well. I don't come from an English speaking family. It's mainly dialect. Even Mandarin isn't eloquent in my house. I associated myself with childhood friends who didn't really focus on studies. It's always about play. Only when I entered JC or bat the end of SEC 4 then I started to brush up on my English standard by reading essays and recording good phrases before O Level. From a standard of C6 to B3 in English, E to A for General Paper, it's still hard to believe that's indicative of my English standard. In this course, my write up got selected to be printed in the graduation parade brochure to represent my platoon. The use of semi bombastic words like surreptitiously somewhat triggered the platoon to rake up that word to spite me. Hard to explain. I still doubt my linguistic ability at times. I don't think I can write well too although I try to strive for proper grammar and structure.

Perhaps it's about support and power. The more people you have on your side, the more influential your words become and that concurrently draws others to you as you become the reliable decision maker. The more arguments or reasoning you lost, the less likely what you suggested next time will be accepted or even considered. It's also about your way of expression. The louder you are, the more likely others will act accordingly to your will. The more blunt or vulgar your speech is, then the more likely your ways will be granted. Who ain't provoked by profanities of volumes? Sometimes I feel that I am limited in this aspect as I do not include vulgarities in my speech or action. Of course that does not mean everyone who doesn't use it is always at the losing end. It also depends on other factors like your logic in reasoning and how affirmative you are. Yet I feel that I am too soft in my speech. Lack of confidence is a main reason perhaps, which is arisen from many rejections and dejections, rendering my inputs as unfit or worthless.

3. Not charismatic.

I don't know why do I always have conflicts or differences with almost everyone. I guess I myself am the ultimate issue but it's just hard to change my attitude because changing for the better will also clash as proven. Not two ways. I wonder if my six years as the chairman in the band have gone to a waste or just not enough for me to grow as a better leader. Or it's just not relevant here.

4. Am I suited and ready for the highly competitive and demanding course in NUS?

Having mentioned the many setbacks and limitations in me, am I really able to overcome the crazy course and Masters programme in Uni? I'm not naturally intelligent. I cannot articulate well. I cannot associate with people well enough. How would that enable me to pull through the 4.5 years? 

Actually casting those personal behavioural issues aside, I also fear that my passion for the course will run dry even before I embrace it... To be honest, I actually thought that pursuing a less competitive course in a less renown Uni will be better for me now after realising more about myself. After all, I realised I strive better in an environment that is not a topnotch one. Take my JC for example; it's a neighbourhood school yet I excelled fine. I thought of teaching as a career. Yet it would limit my career options in the future. I guess it's about time for me to contemplate well on this crises once I graduated as the next application intake is opening soon. One other question remains unsettling is also if NTU is still willing to take me in with that scholarship it once offered me..

Stop being so fickle-minded.

That's it for my 2 hours of virtual ranting. But it's worth it I guess. At least I feel better now. Confide. Gonna go back to PLC tomorrow with some cumbersome items with me. I hope I don't miss out anything. Leggo

Professional Term

In a blink of an eye, my SCS Professional Term is coming to an end. 2014 is closing too. I shall say that this period of 13 weeks is really not a bearable one as many unfortunate tragedies have happened. It's no longer a roller coaster ride because everything just seemed to go downhill from Week 3 onwards. It's like a free fall with an imminent deadly impact. Yet, I thank God that it's actually a delicate bounce - graceful enough to land me safely to where I am now.

There are many lessons learnt in the process and I'm still learning. The experience was arduous but the moral of the various ordeals was enlightening although it's disappointing to realise how much was I lacking. There were many instances when I doubted my ability and worthiness in going through this unique course. I thought I would be better off or my platoon would be better off without me burdening them with my carelessness. That's during the end of Week 4 if I'm not wrong. It's really the pit of the pits of the course. I felt so unmotivated to strive on and leaving was the best option for me then. Amid all the emotional and relational pandemonium, Sir encouraged me to hang on and come back stronger in the end.

So have I really come back "stronger"? Having learnt more about myself and the people around me, I guess the environment is getting more encouraging now. That's intangible. For the tangible aspect, I'm glad to have overcome insurmountable hurdles, such as my marksmanship, 33KM route march with an overall estimated 35kg load, 72 hours of sleeplessness, best in knowledge (although I feel I'm just fortunate enough to get as there are some others who deserved it more than me), and other mini achievements. Whenever I felt like backing down, I reminded myself to just get through that moment as the end is nearing and it's not worth pulling out after having been through so much. Sad to say I'm my only motivator and encourager. It's getting better though and I'm glad to have sustained.

Spiritually wise, I have experienced much of God's grace and love. Week 3 especially tested my faith and trust in Him. I did not understand why did He allow such chaos to happen to His followers. I didn't feel His presence. Everything went haywire despite my incessant cries of prayers. It really felt like I'm been crushed by the weight of the world, leaving no one to turn to and surrendering to the circumstances is the only solution. Week 4 coincidentally triggered another incident of the same kind and it really beat me hard on why did I keep suffering from the same misfortunate. It was a Friday and I was immediately confined with doses of few days of extras. Yet I knew that He is the only one I could count on to bring me through the crisis. I had faith that all these were not happening for nothing; there's a greater purpose.

Weeks passed and I received my punishment for my first mishap and it was shockingly not as severe as what the guideline stated. The severity of the penalty was slashed a lot. The worst it could get me was 10 days DB or weeks of SOL. I didn't get either. I couldn't explain His goodness for me for this. Yes, I still have to bear the pain of the punishment. Yet the overall process actually builds me up in all manners. It's still surreal when I think of this trial. He works in ways I cannot see indeed. Glory to Him for everything.

There are many more things I can say but I think a rough summary here in this post suffices. I'm thankful for those who have stood beside me encouraging and advising me in these gruelling 13 weeks. The journey may seem to end but the real adventure has just begun. 370 days more to conquer.

For now, may Combined Arms Term this coming week be manageable and enjoyable! Can't wait to see familiar faces there.